What does this prompt mean? I could be flippant and say my sanity, but those who know me know that’s been missing for quite some time. My admission to my Maury Povitch addiction shows I lost a portion of my dignity.
Deeper introspection shows me that I lost my inhibitions. No that doesn’t mean you’ll see me dancing with a lampshade in the center table, but I have lost the shyness and hesitation I once had when faced with uncomfortable situations. As an out and proud African American Republican, sometimes I am one of six people of color in a room full of people. I have my elevator speech, know how to make interesting small talk, and I have volunteered the Teen for quite a few things that has her thismuch closer to her goal of interning at The White House.
I lost the need to be liked by everyone. I remember I was the Yes Girl. Despite scheduling conflicts, life conflicts, a need for sleep or even basic TLC, I would agree to be on committees, head a cause, and do things so I wouldn’t hurt feelings. I knew I didn’t do those things well, but I was the go to person. And burnt out. Now I say no with freedom, I know that there will be days that the Teen will always think I exist to embarrass her, and not everyone realizes the charming chick I am. I am fine with that. I realize that I don’t like most of the people I was trying to impress. That is freeing.
Keeping up with the Jones. Since The Mister and I are both trying to transition from working for others to working for ourselves which means there are times when we play rock, paper, scissors with discretionary funds. Since The kids and the cats own us, we sometimes sacrifice for their sakes. It can be exhausting. But it also makes us creative. Coupons are used with abandon, Twitter contest followed and we appreciate the things we can do that are little to no money. Not to say I don’t want an iPad, and I wouldn’t say no if Target has an HD TV at the right price, but I don’t feel like I need to hide that I shop at Sav-A-Lot and I love getting the bargain meat at Giant. I lost the need to impress people with things.
Now if I can lose my taste for bacon and chocolate…