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In anticipation of the new year, a group of bloggers has decided to take a word and make that the theme for the upcoming year. This word will embody their hopes and dreams for the upcoming year.
I have been going back and forth to decide what word would fit for me. I prayed, looked at quotes that spoke to me, perused Twitter and listened to music. I present my journey to my 2014 word.
In a musical there are three kinds of character experiences*
- Transition – a moment of change or conversion.
- Realization – reaching an insight or new level of understanding.
- Decision – after long wrangling, a character finally makes up his or her mind.
My character experience is currently in the Transition Stage. As 2013 closes out and 2014 waves hello…
Opening number: JUICY,
Something’s Coming (West Side Story)
Thinking about the new year I’m filled with…anticipation. In the past, I allowed myself to dwell on the things I did not accomplish rather than celebrate the things that I take for granted. Keeping a journal of my I have found a way to put things into a better perspective. Thinking of 2014, I feel tingly with excitement, because I know that 2014 is going to be MY year. The word juicy encompasses a life that is robust, abundant, and full. A year from now, my hope is that this time a year from now I will revisit my 2013 self, and see the abundance in my life.
It’s only just out of reach,
Down the block, on a beach,
Under a tree.
I got a feeling there’s a miracle due,
Gonna come true,
Coming to me!
The Main “I Want/I Wish” Song: UNWRITTEN
Unwritten (Natasha Bedingfield)
Some days I really wish I had a “do over”. Sometimes it’s a resident who has me ‘woo-sahing” the day away; the kids are always good for a gray hair or two. Then, there’s the days that just are funky for the hell of it. Unwritten reminds me that the next day I can have my do-over. Maturity and Acceptance shows me that brooding over past events will not change them. What I need to do is use those past events as lessons for the future. So that each day is a fresh experience.
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
End of Act One: SOAR
“You wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down.” Toni Morrison
Soar was a choice from another blogger and I liked the IDEA of the word, but this Toni Morrison quote kept replaying in my mind. To Soar means that I was ready to eschew my current routine, step out of my comfort zone and embrace what is next on tap for me. I should be ready to soar, but I can’t just yet. I still don’t know what it is that I want. So I can SOAR but I would not have a destination in mind.
Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I’m through with playing by the rules
Of someone else’s game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It’s time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes and leap!
Opening of ACT 2: FEARLESS
December 1963 Oh What A Night by The Four Seasons
False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear has held me back for so long. Fear of rejection. Fear of being the butt of the joke. Fear of disappointing people. Fear is paralyzing me from having the juicy life I envisioned. Being afraid is limiting, and my fear has been the reason I talk myself out of opportunities, I skip functions, and that I became isolated. As I transform my body with my weekly workouts, I also see that my mind is transforming. When I find myself doing a rep on a machine that used to intimidate me, I feel great. I’m stepping into a confidence that I always knew existed, I just had not cultivated yet.
Oh, what a night, late December back in ’63
What a very special time for me
As I remember what a night!
The Eleven O’clock Number: RENAISSANCE
I Am Changing, Dreamgirls
Miss Jennifer Holiday explained it very well in this song:
I am changing, trying every way I can.
I am changing, I’ll be better than I am.
I’m trying to find a way to understand.
But I need you, I need you, I need a hand.
I am changing, seeing everything so clear.
I am changing, I’m gonna start right now, right here.
I’m hoping to work it out and I know that I can.
But I need you, I need a hand.
The Finale: FREEDOM
One Day More, Les Miserables
“I liked it. I was good at it. And…I was alive. Walter White, Breaking Bad”
I choose FREEDOM as my word. Freedom from internal struggles of mommy guilt, daughter guilt, wife guilt. Freedom from financial burdens, career stagnation, educational limits. Freedom from bad behavior, negative self talk, internal monologues about my fat gut. Freedom from crappy eating, fear of coming in last at a 5K, fear of hitting the gym when I’d rather be asleep. Freedom from relationships that should have been over a long time ago, bitter people, co-irkers. Freedom from sin, straddling the line between spiritual and secular, skipping church just because. Freedom from Newports and coffee before a kind word can be uttered. Freedom from a cluttered home, car, mind. Freedom from fear of achievement, fear of achievement, fear of mistakes. Freedom from being stagnant, being complacent, being routine. Freedom is the word I have embraced for 2014.
One day to a new beginning
Raise the flag of freedom high!
Every man will be a king
There’s a new world for the winning
Tomorrow we’ll discover
What our God in Heaven has in store!
One more dawn
One more day
One day more!
2014 is the year I set myself free.
* Source http://www.musicals101.com/score.htm