No Woman

At some point last night/this morning, I turned to my Bible. Since I couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to wake the Mister with the telly, Midnight and I went downstairs so I could re read Matthew Chapters 5-7. For the uninitiated, this is also known as the Sermon on the Mount.

Ever since I declared that I was shining this year, I have felt stagnant. I have gotten off my rusty dusty and did some extra outings that I would have normally skipped, and I also toed the line of my comfort zone by clearing some clutter.

I still feel stalled.

As I read, I prayed that something, anything would touch me.

This passage jumped out at me:

From the Amplified Bible
Matthew 5:37 Let your Yes be simply Yes, and your No be simply No; anything more than that comes from the evil one.

Too often I find myself waffling, saying yes when I really mean no and saying no just to tick the Mister off. I truly want to be a woman of my word.

I have had a lot of time to reflect on motherhood, being a wife, being a friend, my past career, future career choices, my legacy. My options can be limited to the No’s in my life or I can be open to the Yeses to come.

My nos need to outweigh my yeses more. It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to admit I don’t want to __________. Not that I am THAT busy, but sometimes I just want to watch the Boy play his video game, or suffer er listen to the Teen’s radio station. And NO, I will not listen to Beyaki. That I can say with a solid NO.

I would say YES when I really wanted to SCREAM no. It’s okay to want to hang with my girlfriends, read more than a page in a book, or watch three hours of Ramsay. Not wanting to rock the boat or upset anyone, I would say Yes, then have a stink attitude. No more.

I refuse to stew on the past. Been there, done that, took a picture, got a T-shirt. Going forward, know that my yes is a yes, and my no is a no.

Maybe*.