If asked about my age, I would reply thirty something something.
It was something about telling people that number that would set my teeth on edge.
When October rolled around this year, I was in a bad place:
exhausted, fatigued, PMSing, and feeling a mild panic over life in general.
Then two things happened.
Steve Jobs passed away.
I downloaded an app called Momento.
The passing of Steve Jobs was not unexpected. Hell, no death is unexpected. But Steve Jobs was just on stage teasing those who worship at the alter of Apple about new products, innovations, ideas.
What does that have to do with me?
Cutting to the chase.
Thinking of my birthday and how much closer to forty I am, I had two paths to take:
I could resist the change, and like a petulant child, not embrace the day until mid January, when I realized that Michael J Fox wasn’t showing up in a DeLorean at any time. Or I could embrace and enjoy it now.
Steve Jobs was fired from the company HE started. When he came back, he dominated the world with iPods, ear buds, iPhones, Macs, etc. He did all this while battling cancer and naysayers.
Who the heck am I to complain?
The second thing was when I looked back over the last year of my life, thanks to Momento.
This app had chronicled all of my Facebook, Twitter, Foursquare, and Instagram posts over the last year. Knowing the code that I write in, I could tell the down days and the up days, I could see a pattern of when I was emotional, and when I was absolutely filled with joy.
It’s not all bad!
I also did a quick comparison to others my age.
At the age of #* (okay, I’m still hesitant to tell my actual age!), I am not a grandmother (violent shudder) and I don’t have massive amounts of gray hair. I don’t have major health issues, and despite a penchant for working each others nerves, The Mister still finds me a great mate. The kids are not on drugs, acquainted with the local police station or courts, and both still call me Mommy.
I’ve decided to accept the next post in my life, thanks to the Steve Jobs quote below:
“No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Stanford commencement speech, June 2005