For a while I thought I’d never pick up needles again. I just didn’t feel like it and I was in a funk that wasn’t lifting any time soon.
Then cookie season swooped in and it’s hard to hawk cookies (which was cruelly extended to the end of the month. If I see one more blankety blank Thin Mint — I’ll just eat it. Let’s keep it real) and pay attention to dropped stitches. I tried working on small things, like booties and squares, but nothing grabbed me.
The patterns I found were quick, but meh.
Pinterest whet my appetite but I still couldn’t find a frig to give about knitting.
Then I went to Macy’s.
Macy’s had the audacity to sell these:
for $32.00. And the insane thing was that people were buying them!
Hold the phone…
My knitting is for relaxation, the occasional ball of yarn and a sincere thank you. I knit to give people gifts, not to make money. Plus, I never felt that my work was good enough to sell.
Then I went to art therapy. In art therapy, there’s no right or wrong way to draw a picture. Jane, the therapist, would find the most minute thing based on the colors used or the depth of a stroke. I can draw a pig and something that resembles a cat, but stick people are my forte. Regardless of what I drew, Jane found a way to explain the meaning or feeling, going especially gaga over this piece:
To me it’s a crayon drawing of confusion, my conflicting feelings as an African American woman who spends days shifting my personality, feeling like a Peggy Olsen in a Joan Holloway world.*
The accolades I received from the art projects regardless of mistakes and a lack of skill made me think, what the heck? Let go, and have fun.
I began to knit because I wanted to quit smoking. I continued to knit because it was fun. I need to find the FUN in knitting again.
So I am.
The Harry Potter scarf has a new lease on life, and I’m enjoying the act and art of knitting.
*a post I’m working on about my mixed feelings being a woman in a man’s world. We’ve come a long way, baby, but we have so much more strides to make.
What project are YOU working on?
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