The Ladies are Back!

I swear, last week’s offering of DH was like a bridge episode. One of those episodes written for the sake of airing and setting up for the next week.

The bridge emptied into a doozy!

The show starts off with Lynette getting uber mom and making pancakes. My pancakes are frozen from Aunt Jemima. Breakfast, I don’t do. Then Damon Jr 1 gets arrested. Wisteria Lane is beginning to resemble my neighborhood, arrest in the morning, friends hooking up with cast offs, and bad ass kids.

Ahh Drabby Gabby is up next. This chick. I think she found this outfit at one of those vendors that lines the street along 52nd and Market. Or did she find it at Muumuus R Us? Carlos may want that bone fragment put back in his eye when he sees what she morphed into. LOL.

Hey!!! Bob earning those attorney fees for the Scavos. Lynette needs to talk to Gabby about stretching a dollar. She paid Gail O’Grady $12000 too much.
Andrew has a new lover, that means a Lee sighting. Lee rocks. I want to have neighbors who can represent me at a moments notice. Bree can cook, Orson can fix my teeth, Mike can look at my drains. This neighborhood has everything but some upward mobile blacks.

I hope the woman and baby Dave just saw are not the ones killed in the season opener, therefore meaning that Dave is after Mike for that. I’m calling shenanigans if so. In my seven years of driving, I’ve found that women (me included) drive way more recklessly then men.

NEWSFLASH:
All the kids on DH needs to get a straight ass whipping. No discipline, no boundaries.

Queenie would have dropped kicked my ass if I threw a hot fudge sundae on her date. MJ must get his social skills from his mama. Let me see if I’m understanding: he accepts Jackson but not Katherine? They need to add a psychologist to the show because these kids are effed up.

Andrew hating, yet loving his mother, MJ with divorce child syndrome, Lynette’s kids are psychopaths.

Random observation: I’m digging Lynette’s hair do.

How come Gabby doesn’t speak Spanish. I even know enough to follow a commecial on Telemundo and I spent my time in Spanish class doodling the name of my latest crush on the spine of my notebook. Plus, she should be happy as hell that ANYONE wants to see her dance.

I am thoroughly convinced that the ladies of Wisteria Lane are some nosy mother shut your mouths. Why is Lynette eavesdropping on Dave tripping at his hallucinations? If it was Susan she would have tripped down the steps.

I LOVE LEE. However I must digress: are their only a hand full of gays in Fairview? Bob and Lee seem to know all of them. I realize that there is a gated community, since there is not even a token extra in the background, so following this logic, I guess Bob and Lee would be the epic center of Fairview rainbow culture.

Yo what do they feed Juanita? Make way for the big girls. I see now. Carlos is sending her to get cookies while he and Gabby chat.

I could hang out with Edie. She shoots from the hip and doesn’t apologize. Nicollette Sheridan is drifting toward Bob, Lee, and Katherine territory with a lack of a storyline.

Where is Jackson to tell what he saw? Porter ain’t jumping bad now that he was somebody’s bitch in jail. Don’t drop the soap!

Again, what kind of sloppy writing f*ckery is this? Jackson can spend the night with Susan but Katherine can’t go bowling with his daddy? Kids normally pitch a fit when MOMMY gets her groove on, not daddy.

^^^ That’s the shark that DH may be heading for.

Okay I know COBRA costs an arm and a leg, and with the lost eyesight but Carlos couldn’t get unemployment benefits until the massage gig came through? Those closets were pathetic.

Where’s all that heart Porter had at the bar? He skipped bail like a bitch.

I am calling SHENANIGANS. Dave is after Mike for killing his family? Hello? This is America. Sue his ass.
Next week promises OG Lynette. Lynette is straight gangster in the previews. It also seems Lee is getting more than three minutes of screen time.

Outstanding!

Until next time.

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