The Atlantic Magazine Explains Why Women Can’t Have it All.
Blogger Janeane explains what ALL means to her:
Every few years some big, famous, hot woman writes a book or magazine article explaining why women can’t have it all. After the article or book is published there is up roar all over the country. The arguments for and against the position taken by the author rage on for weeks. It appears we are in the midst of one of those circle again. So to be stylish and current, I shall add my voice to the fray. First, let me say that I think that since we live on the planet earth, there are certain facts that we must accept. There are only 24 hours in each day. No matter what type of woman you are, you only have 24 hours each day to do whatever it is you are going to do. Every woman, from Michelle Obama, to the homeless woman I saw living on the Ben Franklin Parkway in Philadelphia has the same 24 hours to accomplish all she will accomplish.
Second, my law school training comes out and makes me start the discussion with some definitions. Under the old definition of having it all a woman has it all if she has a wonderful marriage full of hot passionate sex four nights per week, a rewarding career with continuous advancement and beautiful well behaved award winning children with whom she is able to go to every school event, be classroom mom and is president of the parent teacher association. I have a different definition of having it all. If we define having it all, as I do, most women can have it all. I think a woman has it all if:
She has a satisfying marriage with a faithful and loving spouseShe has children she loves and cares forShe has interesting work that gives a measure of pleasure (this work can be in or outside of the home)
Based upon this definition, I have it all.
Let’s look at a typical day for a woman who works outside the home:
- work 9 to 5 so leave the house from 8 am to 6 pm each day
- arrive home and have dinner with the family 6 pm to 7 pm
- review homework with the children and help them prepare for school the next day 7 pm to 9 pm
- talk to spouse and spend quality time, perhaps thrown in a little marital relations 9 pm to 11 pm
- prepare for work the next day, do some household chore and go to bed 11 pm to 12 am
- sleep 12 am to 6 am
- wake up and get self and children ready for school and work 6 am to 8 am
This schedule does not leave a lot of room for anything. You will notice this woman has not worked overtime which is crucial to succeeding and moving up the corporate ladder in many career fields. This woman has not attended any PTA meetings. She has not taken her children to the playground or to the neighborhood library. In addition, she has not engaged in any enrichment activities with her children. She has not had date night with her husband. There may have been time for a quickie, but not a long, romantic night of love making. She has not worked out. While she may have had time for a shower, she did not have a lot of time for one of those good bubble baths with the pretty bubble bath, bath salts and lotion from Bath and Body Works. The schedule for the mom who stays at home to care for the house and family is just as busy and just as many hours are spent taking care of business and there is still not enough time for a whole lot of stuff under the old everything definition of having it all.
I really prefer my definition for having it all. Under that definition, I am a success. I have been happily married to the same man for 22 years, I have four children whom I love and happily sacrifice any and everything to raise, I have my own consulting business that I am finding satisfaction in nurturing. I don’t have the same taste in food, clothing or knitting projects as every other woman in America. It stands to reason then that I should set my own definition for having it all. In my opinion, true satisfaction will come from us defining having it all for ourselves and not relying on definitions set up by other people.
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Janeane writes at Janeane’s World, where she shows us the thoughts, dreams, and ideas relevant to the modern woman dealing with family, work, and life.
This is the reality of a working woman! It’s tough… And thank you for bringing it to light. Very good read!
I like!