I Took The Boy to See Donald Trump and Immediately Regretted It
The invitation to meet Donald Trump was no surprise. Afterall, I am an African-American female Republican in a predominantly Democratic neighborhood. The invitation was from a group of women I have spent time with in the past, women a little more progressive than the Republicans I see frothing at the mouth during some campaign rallies. The invitation said it was a private lunch for women only. Even though it was an event limited to women, I wrangled an invitation for The Boy. He’s off for All Saints’ Day and expressed interest in seeing Trump.
I said yes for a few reasons.
First, lunch. Hashtag Team Chunk knows little shame.
Second, as my constant companion during rallies for President Obama and other local politicians The Boy loved the camaraderie of voters shouting messages of hope and progression. Plus he likes politics.
Third, The Boy’s excitement to meet a presidential candidate was contagious. He hasn’t shown this type of excitement since he pressed flesh with then-candidate Tom Wolf.
On the drive to lunch, we discussed questions that we would ask if given the chance. My ESL class helped me shape my questions:
The closer we got to the King of Prussia venue, the less excited we both felt. It wasn’t that the lawn signs swung more Republican. From experience, I know that lawn signs don’t mean a thing if people don’t come out and vote. It was the way people outfitted their cars that caused me to literally slow my roll. A sticker to a car is a commitment. When someone places a bumper sticker on their vehicle, it’s permanent. It’s a sign saying “I’m dedicated to my platform, car finish be damned”. Bumper stickers are PERSONAL. Bumper stickers mean business.
“Hill No” a play on the Hillary Clinton logo was a popular sticker. quite popular. I can understand the Hill No sentiment. I feel that way every time she voiceovers “I’m Hillary Clinton and I approve this message”. The Anti-abortion stickers were second popular. Then we followed a car adorned with “Blue Lives Matter”, “Go back home” “Give us our jobs back” and “F*ck Isis” written in Arabic letters. Other cars in the lot expressed similar messages: Build a wall, Speak American, Speak English to name a few. Looking at these, The Boy asked if we could leave. I was way ahead of him, already punching in The Halal Guys to my GPS. This private, classy event was anything but private or classy. Despite the invitation, I did not feel welcomed.
I did not feel welcomed by people who discount my feelings not just as an African-American woman, but as a mother by disregarding the message behind Black Lives Matter. I cry too often over the latest name as a hashtag, hoping that my son’s return from school does not end in tragedy or my daughter’s evening out does not lead the evening news. How many more analogies to house fires or Bill at the dinner table do people need to see that people are in pain?
I did not feel welcomed by people who want Mexicans (or any other undocumented person) to go back to their country. Why would you send a person who was brought here as a CHILD to a place they never knew? How could ANYONE treat a child so mean?
I did not feel welcomed by people who want to build a wall. Do you really think people would venture north to be a burden? No! People enter this country illegally because they are fleeing wars, gangs, poverty, and possible death. People who come into this country illegally, undocumented, unexamined, furtively (feel free to add your own) are coming for a better life. It’s easy to say “Wait your turn.” but who can wait when the immigration process is unfair? Diversity Immigrant visas makes up to 50,000 immigrant visas available a year and are limited to countries that don’t normally have large groups of people in the States. People who circumvent the process are usually paying money to a person that will smuggle them into the country. Smuggling includes crossing a river, little sleep, and walking far longer than I care to imagine (one woman told me eight hours each night).
I did not feel welcomed by people who lump all Muslims together. The women in my Tuesday and Thursday Civics class are a phenomenal group of women. Not just because they made my 43rd birthday into a celebration I hadn’t seen in a while, but because these women are so caring and warm. Students who experience the slump that comes from homesickness are welcomed to their circles, regardless of which country they hail from. A family of refugees from Syria, in the country for less than a week, were given phone numbers to call and plans were made to visit. A family from Egypt suffering from American Dream Syndrome were provided food, child care services, and diapers.
I cannot say I was disappointed that the day did not go as planned. I used my time in King of Prussia to return some items to one of the fanciest Targets I have ever seen and get lunch from The Halal Guys.
I can only blame myself for thinking that somehow, the nastiness and venom of this race would miss me.
What a great blog, Raya, indeed how frightening to think that you can feel so foreign and afraid in your own country as most of us Mexican Americans and I suspect also Muslim Americans feel right now. And yet while that form of racism is so desperate and sad, I am mostly truly shocked at the women that support this candidacy in spite of hearing from his own mouth what he thinks of us. That is not something I can comprehend.
Heck, I’m white and born here and feel foreign and afraid in my own country. It’s scary! I have been threatened with physical violence even from a family member. I wish you and Raya and everyone else peace and comfort and a non-Trump world.
This election is horrifying and it’s sad to realize there are so many of those “bumper sticker people” out there.
I’m so sorry it was so bad. 🙁 I wish there was a way to actually see him and not see all the people who surround him. Maybe that would help us understand if he actually has a thought or an opinion or something, I don’t know. I’m sorry. That sounds incredibly awful. I’m glad you went to get some good food after that. And I’m also glad your son is the kind of kid who gets it. What a saddening experience for him to have to witness such STUFF.
While I am truly sorry you had this unwelcome experience, I am not surprised. Some people are not nice people and this election has given unpleasant people, no matter their political party, permission to step forward and be unpleasant. My experience has taught me that Donald Trump is not for people like me. I am not one of “his African-Americans.” I am married to the father of my children, very well educated, live in one of the most desired suburbs in the country and open minded. I hope the next political event you are able to attend with your son is a better experience for you both.
I explained to my husband that I was more saddened than angry. I cannot believe that this election cycle has given so many people the courage to be so boldly racist! I am used to casual, covert racism (which is another thing that saddens me). This in your face ” ‘Murica!” racism is dangerous.