Weak

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass …
It’s about learning how to dance in the rain

2 Corinthians 12:9

…”My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.”

SWV said it best:

I get so weak in the knees I can hardly speak.
I lose all control and something takes over me.
In a daze and it’s so amazing, it’s not a phase.
I want you to stay with me, by my side.
I swallow my pride, your love is so sweet.
It knocks me right off of my feet.
I can’t explain why your loving makes me weak.

While they sang this song about their love for a man, I sing this verse about my love for God. For the past few months, my faith has been shaken. Between illness and personal valleys, I wondered out loud: has my God forsaken me?

Daily I would listen to my audio bible, reflect on the teachings of Charles Stanley, visit the Good Reverend Doctor for advice.

Nothing.

I felt the silence of God cut through me.

I prayed, cheerfully gave my tithe, went to every last alter call, even went to services when I normally would be home. Still nothing.

Despite the good God had performed in my life, I decided that I would no longer follow Him. Screw it, I said, I won’t go back to church, listen to teachings, turn on the gospel channel. None of it.

But that wasn’t what God had in store for me. God began to put people and things into my life that didn’t allow me to forget him. He sent a neighbor with a thank you card for slippers I knit. A Christian bookstore in the next town with a proprietor who prayed for me. Two deacon in trainings who advised me to stay the course. The GRD who called and forced me to promise to at least THINK about praying. A bunny sighting.

The Mister on his knees after work.

I never knew the Mister prayed daily. Every day he comes home from work, changes his clothes, and I assumed caught up on Sports Center. A few weeks ago, I saw his after work routine, and by golly, it was him praying. At the time, he too was in a valley, but he continued to find strength in the loving arms of God.

With a tentative approach, I went back to my Bible and found versus about God’s love. It dawned on me:

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 says:

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate;
A time of war, and a time of peace.

Everything happens for a reason. I can’t expect life to be all hilltops. But I can weather the Storm through the loving arms of God.